Written by: Kellie Gwaltney, M.A. Valentine’s Day is upon us. Regardless of how you feel about the holiday, in one way or another, it brings our thoughts towards love. Whether you’ve been together for one month or 40 years, everyone wants to love and be loved by their significant other. While this may look differently to all us, there are […]

Relationships of all kinds are messy. In a friendship or a dating relationship, we simply “break up”. It’s painful but since we have rarely have to see the person, it’s easier to move on. In families, this looks completely different. When a familial relationship gets cut off for whatever reason, it never really goes away. There will always be special […]

(That Likely Indicate a Need for Couples Counseling.) Arguments happen in all marriages, in fact, they are necessary.  Conflicts often arise because of financial stresses, parenting issues and misunderstandings. Couples must face these daily disagreements in order to operate and function effectively.  However, there are forms of negativity in arguments that have been found to be more destructive or corrosive to a marriage than others. Dr. […]

Emotional regulation, or the ability to manage one’s emotions, is perhaps the most dramatically visible and the prototypical feature of human personality. Many people appear to be mostly in command of their emotions at critical moments, while others appear to be particularly (and sometimes explosively) reactive to environmental and interpersonal challenges. In general, affective or emotional instability, inordinate bursts of […]

When we hear the word “engagement” in the context of a marriage relationship, we usually think about that memorable occassion where a guy gives a girl a ring to start the whole matrimonial process!  But what happens when the couple gets “engaged,” gets married, gets on with life, has a house and 2.3 children???  Are they still “engaged”?  For many […]

There can be such upheaval, emotional and physical, during the process of divorce for all family members. Here are some tips to assist your family and your kids, as you process and adjust to your new reality, and work to move forward in a positive way. 1. It is so important that kids have predictable and consistent rituals and routines […]

Arguments happen in all marriages, in fact they are necessary.  Conflicts  may arise because of  financial stresses, parenting issues and misunderstandings. Couples must face these daily disagreements in order to operate and function effectively.  However, there are forms of negativity in arguments that have been found to be more destructive or corrosive to a marriage than others.  Dr. Gottman, a noted researcher on marriage and the […]

Do the arguments between you and your spouse quickly disintegrate into a heated battle without any chance of reaching a win/win conclusion?  Check to make sure that a harsh start up is not dooming you to failure. A harsh start up is when you or your spouse begins a discussion with a harsh or critical statement. This statement puts the receiver of the comment on the […]

What makes a good marriage last? According to the best evidence provided by case studies and well-documented research (most prominent that of Dr. John Gottman), the best chances of success are within marriages where the spouses can provide a safe haven for each other and a secure base from which to face the world together. Among others, a crucial skill […]

Most recently I have found myself reflecting on the sacredness of marriage. At the center of my home is my parents’ wedding picture.  It is an ever-present reminder to my family of the central value and purpose of marriage. In America where the latest divorce rate is 41% for first marriages, 60% for second marriages, and 73% for third marriages, […]