Photo by Erik Lucatero on Unsplash “Yes” “No” “Maybe” Three words that I am proud to have in the English dictionary. Three words that I am happy that I have the ability to use, being aware that there are many who are unable to use those words for a variety of reasons. When spending time with a mixed cultural couple, I was able to learn that the French do not have a good word for ‘may...
It’s human nature to want intimacy. We all want someone whether that be friends, family, a romantic relationship, ourselves, maybe even all of the above. However, I do think it is important to understand the nature of our relationships and in what way we expect them to function.
Friendships mean different things to each and every one of us because [we] are all unique. I expect different things from all of my friends. I talk to some of my friends every day. I talk to some of my friends once every few months. We’re at that weird age in our lives where some of us have kids and houses, some of us are in school, some of us are still following curfews set by their parents, etc. Even if I wanted to expect something special from all of my friends, that would be impossible because we all have different priorities. The only thing that I expect from my friends is that they be a friend—however, we choose to define that.
Defining Different Relationships
Some people choose to accept their family as friends or their friends like family. Just as we have different definitions of friends, we have different definitions of family. This proves to be the same for lovers. That is why it is important to discuss roles throughout your different relationships. To be honest, I just learned that there is a difference between dating and being in a relationship. Dating simply means going on dates where being in a relationship holds the same meaning as many expect it to. One should be clear about their relationship. Lovers learning whether or not they’re dating or in a relationship. Elders within a family learning if they want to express their love by letting their young birds fly or if their babies will remain their babies for the rest of their lives.
This conversation is important and it should not only be had with your loved ones, but also with yourself. What do you expect from yourself? What goals do you have for yourself? In all of these situations, the conversation is not meant to be had one time. Expectations will change as our lives to continue to move on, so we must have updates with each other. Have updates with yourself. If you want to truly gain what you want from these relationships; understanding what you want would be the first obvious step. Secondly, expressing that want. The third is up to you.